Post by ConversionForMyself on Nov 16, 2022 23:20:11 GMT -5
Hi all,
I'm interested in converting to Islam from being a spiritual agnostic. This is largely inspired by my boyfriend. Unfortunately while I started open minded about conversion, I made a big fuss about it and cracked deep doubts in our relationship. He feels strongly about Islam as a requirement now, and also strongly about wanting me to convert for myself, and not for our relationship.
We're on an indefinite break now with plans to be abstinent from each other and not sleep in the same room until marriage (after two years of already sleeping together). We may live together and sleep in separate rooms one day, though. He does not plan to actively seek new partners for the time being, and sees no harm in staying connected while I explore whether Islam is right for me or not.
So, here I am. My honest interest in Islam is put to the test.
There are three things that hold me back from converting for myself.
1. Why is taking the shahada and calling oneself muslim so important? Why can I not learn from the Quran and practice the religion day by day, deepening a relationship with god, without needing to adopt a label like that? If you're a convert...why did YOU adopt a label? Has your happiness with this decision stood the test of time?
2. Marriage is a good deed in islam, but women are technically supposed to only marry muslims. What if I convert, and my boyfriend decides he doesn't want to be with me anyway? Only 1% of the population in America is Muslim. I'm highly doubtful of being able to find someone I'm compatible with given those odds. The stories of people here struggling with finding a spouse and their regret with the faith after many years of strength are definitely not helping. There are many good people in this world who are not Muslim that could be great marriage partners. Could Allah forgive me if I married a non-muslim man, considering the odds I am up against? It can't be that different from someone who breaks their fast due to health concerns. Frowned upon, but an exception to the rule in dire circumstances (like living in the STATES with no muslims around). La?
I feel aligned with Islam in almost every other way. I'm not consistent with pork, but I've fasted Ramadan twice, I've never dranken alcohol on purpose in my entire life (I'm 28), and I like the marriage values in how men and women are supposed to be kind, patient, and forgiving with each other. I don't really like parties and their loud music. I'm a morning person and love the prayer recitations (though I'm only averaging 1-2 prayers a day).
If most of my friends and family were muslim, and especially if most of the country was muslim like in some Arab nations, this would be a piece of cake. It is definitely the social infrastructure that makes conversion (without guarantee of happy marriage and by extension their family and friends) particularly hard.
I'm interested in converting to Islam from being a spiritual agnostic. This is largely inspired by my boyfriend. Unfortunately while I started open minded about conversion, I made a big fuss about it and cracked deep doubts in our relationship. He feels strongly about Islam as a requirement now, and also strongly about wanting me to convert for myself, and not for our relationship.
We're on an indefinite break now with plans to be abstinent from each other and not sleep in the same room until marriage (after two years of already sleeping together). We may live together and sleep in separate rooms one day, though. He does not plan to actively seek new partners for the time being, and sees no harm in staying connected while I explore whether Islam is right for me or not.
So, here I am. My honest interest in Islam is put to the test.
There are three things that hold me back from converting for myself.
1. Why is taking the shahada and calling oneself muslim so important? Why can I not learn from the Quran and practice the religion day by day, deepening a relationship with god, without needing to adopt a label like that? If you're a convert...why did YOU adopt a label? Has your happiness with this decision stood the test of time?
2. Marriage is a good deed in islam, but women are technically supposed to only marry muslims. What if I convert, and my boyfriend decides he doesn't want to be with me anyway? Only 1% of the population in America is Muslim. I'm highly doubtful of being able to find someone I'm compatible with given those odds. The stories of people here struggling with finding a spouse and their regret with the faith after many years of strength are definitely not helping. There are many good people in this world who are not Muslim that could be great marriage partners. Could Allah forgive me if I married a non-muslim man, considering the odds I am up against? It can't be that different from someone who breaks their fast due to health concerns. Frowned upon, but an exception to the rule in dire circumstances (like living in the STATES with no muslims around). La?
I feel aligned with Islam in almost every other way. I'm not consistent with pork, but I've fasted Ramadan twice, I've never dranken alcohol on purpose in my entire life (I'm 28), and I like the marriage values in how men and women are supposed to be kind, patient, and forgiving with each other. I don't really like parties and their loud music. I'm a morning person and love the prayer recitations (though I'm only averaging 1-2 prayers a day).
If most of my friends and family were muslim, and especially if most of the country was muslim like in some Arab nations, this would be a piece of cake. It is definitely the social infrastructure that makes conversion (without guarantee of happy marriage and by extension their family and friends) particularly hard.