How long to wait for marriage?

[rssunjoy360]

I am a muslimah that converted from atheism last year. I had a few troubles and decided to take a break from  Allah and Islam. I came back recently and have made more of an effort this time in performing salah and reading quran and just being patient. But most importantly I have been reconnecting with Allah. However, im lonely and I have been considering marriage. I work two jobs. I only know a few people at my mosque, all older, the younger sisters are standoffish. Its like being in a foreign country when I go there and the only thing I recognize is salah. I want to wait until I build more knowledge and connection with Allah before looking for a husband but I feel like I have very little support, I need a partner (most likely a convert) to help me along this journey. Im thinking of waiting until I turn 22 in September. Should I wait longer and learn more? If you got married after converting or reverting how long did you wait?

[Zubair]

Salam

I don't know if this is the correct place to ask. But I am a born muslim and would like to marry a revert sister. Would you marry me?

I am a practising brother.

Sorry if this is not the correct platform.

[salman75]

Dear Sister Assalam U alikum I am not a revert but if you want to talk to a born muslim you can totally email me and I would love to be your friend and support till you find a husband or are sure about when to marry. I too am looking for a revert wife so that I can support her and teach her deen along the way.But since you aint sure when you want to get married so I guess it would be inappropriate to propose. Because I would like to take your lovely time to think about it and be sure when you want to get married. As marriage itself is a big commitment for life. And I will not marry just any random person unless I know a little about her and see we are compatible. But you can always email me at [e-mail]. I would love to be your friend and support in the meanwhile oh I am 24 yrs old so not so old. someone from your age group. Looking forward to hearing from you and hopefully giving you the support I can over emails.

loads of prayers your way.
Salam
Salman

[Khanshanawar]

Hi, May God bless you. I just want to know, if you dont mind, will you allow your future husband to marry another woman along with you ?? As it is considered allowed in Islam that you recently accepted

[hue]

I'm really upset about the question regaring willingness to accept a husband acquiring more wives. This is certainly not the most important issue in deciding to marry. It is baiting the woman. Typical of a man who wants to immediately boast of his dominance in a relationship. I would never marry either as first, second, third or fourth wife a man who puts this as a priority in his marriage.
I have never met a woman who would accept this. A man is allowed to marry a maximum of 4 women, and only for specific reasons such as protecting a widow who otherwise would be in danger of abuse. Subsequent marriages based on what we recognize here in America are infidelities...affairs...covered up by claiming Islamic right to a second wife, are abhorrent. This isn't "the Old Country". It is also illegal in the US to practice polygamy so the subsequent wives would be concubines. Friends with benefits.
I have also never met a man who would demand his "rights". Modern Muslims marry for LOVE. They cherish and respect their wives and husbands. They accept that whatever happens is from Allah. Couples that can't have children, for example, don't go out and impregnate some baby mama. (That whole idea assumes that it is the fault of the woman, not the man, that no child is forthcoming.)
My husband is Egyptian so we know lots of Egyptian couples. Not one of these are triples or worse. Including in Egypt. We've discussed women's rights and the rights of children to have a good, harmonious life. In the 21st century, it is vital to be able to provide well for children and to ensure that they have an excellent education. Women have high degrees of education so they can be nurtures in all areas of their children''s lives. Intelligent, educated women have the right and responsibility to work and increase the country we live in.
Anyway, at least I won't be stoned by my husband for saying all of this!

[salman75]

hue I agree with everything you have to say here. Marring four wives is not to show dominance but it is to provide protection and affection and love so that both can be there for eachother. No marriage is a marriage if it is dominated by either one of the two. Allah says in the quran we have put love and mercy between your hearts so that you may dwell in tranquility. So yeah marriage is based on equity and treating eachother according to ones need and being there for eachother